Phlegmatic

( Read more )

http://www.accountancyage.com/accountancyage/news/2248540/kerry-katona-accused-punching

(For when you can’t think what to write.)

( Read more )( Read more )

Easily the headline of the day.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8118257.stm

Lovely.

A man starts work as financial controller at a big company.
It's a good job. The pay is good, his boss (the Finance Director) likes him and the people who work for him do their jobs well.

A few years later, it's time for the FD to retire. The financial controller applies for the FD's job, and gets it. He's very happy.

At the old FD's retirement party, the financial controller asks his old boss if he has any advice for him in his new role. The old FD says "I thought you'd ask me that. Take these two envelopes. If ever the shit hits the fan and the walls come down, open the first envelope. It will tell you what to do. If after that, something else happens, well then you open the second envelope."

"Thanks", says the new FD and settles into his new office.

It's a nice office with a big wooden desk and an attractive secretary.
A couple of years later, the auditors spot something...

( Read more )

Having spent most of this evening reading Shamus Young's marvellous webcomic "The DM of the Rings" from beginning to end, I was inspired to make a new icon. This is from the last episode. I laughed. A lot.

Hope you like it.

Article on the BBC website about people with unfortunate names (Stan Still, Annette Curtain etc):

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7909561.stm

Has anyone here ever encountered somebody with a real name along these lines?

The best I've ever met was financial controller at a property developer in Wrexham. His name was Phil McCracken.

I remember Random telling me that he was once on a course with a German guy called Bob Schrunkel.

You may have seen this before, but it's funny and worth repeating (and features a very good summing up of Enron)...


( Read more )

Apparently Jeremy Clarkson is in trouble for referring to our glorious leader as a "one-eyed Scottish idiot".

That Mr Brown has only one eye is not in doubt. I suppose if you were a Labour politician, you might take umbrage at the suggestion that the person that you voted in as the best qualified leader in your entire party might be an idiot, but no, what Mr Gordon Banks, Labour MP for Ochil and South Perthshire, objects to is the "unforgiveable" accusation that Gordon Brown is Scottish.

"Most people here are proud that the prime minister is a Scot and believe him to be the right person to get the UK through this global economic crisis", said Mr Banks.

Now, now...

The Wikipedia entry for Mr Banks says that he was born in England. And of course he shares his name with England's greatest ever goalkeeper.

Methinks he's a little over-sensitive about Scottishness...

EDIT: His own website doesn't even say where he was born, but that he went to school in Alloa. He'd have been 11 during the 1966 World Cup. I wonder if he was bullied for being English...?

Bunn and I have just watched the 2007 St Trinian's film on the telly. Wasn't expecting much (it's got Russell Brand in it, how good could it be?), but we both thought it was very funny. Highly recommended. Bunn is currently scouring eBay to see if she can add to her Ronald Searle collection.


Earlier this evening, we finished watching the 'Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy' DVD I bought her for Christmas. Bunn is something of a John le Carre fan, but has never seen the classic BBC adaptation starring Alec Guinness. I've never read any of the books or seen the TV serial, but I can report that this serial was excellent. Bunn says it's remarkably faithful to the book. As well as Guinness, it also has Ian 'You may think that, I couldn't possibly comment' Richardson, the guy who played the Valeyard in 'Trial of a Timelord' and George Sewell from UFO. Oh, and Patrick Stewart. Good stuff.

I saw this earlier tonight on a repeat of 'Have I Got News For You' and thought it was funny enough to pass on:

Random has been working in Birmingham all week. Apparently a local radio station there started this craze. It doesn't sound funny, but if you find the right album, it can be (assuming you have a relatively base sense of humour - like me).

Step 1 – Go to your CD collection or your iPod or whatever and choose an album, any album.

Step 2 – Obtain song listing

Step 3 – Read the song listing out loud but add the words “in my pants” at the end of every title.


Random reports that Nirvana's 'Nevermind' is particularly good for this:

Smells Like Teen Spirit IN MY PANTS
Come As You Are IN MY PANTS
Breed IN MY PANTS
Territorial Pissings IN MY PANTS
Something in the Way IN MY PANTS

Arf arf arf...

What is the capital of Iceland?


( Read more )

England play Kazakhstan later today at Wembley (altogether now, "In my country, there is problem...").

Apparently the police have said they may arrest any England fans dressed in mankinis.

I ask this because the Facebook 'Compare People' application lists him as the second "most desirable to date" of all the males on my friends list.

Which of my LiveJournal friends do you think is responsible for the picture of a naked lady that currently adorns my notifications page on Facebook.

I won't name names (you know who you are), but I'd be interested to see if anyone guesses.

The OGC is part of the Treasury. This is their new logo:




Quite mundane until you rotate it through 90 degrees...

This might sound a little silly, but I want you all to try and come up with similar 'animals in items of clothing' rhymes...

( Read more )