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In the few days either side of the General Election, I made a collection of the funniest and most ridiculously ill-informed comments I saw on social media. These are from a variety of sources, notably LJ, Facebook, Change.org. various newspaper websites, Twitter and the odd blog post. I have resisted the temptation to add my own commentary, and leave them here just for your amusement. Spelling is the original poster's, not my own.

For my non-British readers who maybe don't keep up with British politics, I should explain that the election was won by the right-wing Conservative Party with a reasonably secure majority of seats won. The left-wing Labour Party did very badly, as did the centrist Liberal Democrats. The Scottish National Party (a regional left-wing party) did astonishingly well in that part of the country that they stood in, completeley thrashing Labour in what had been pretty recently safe Labour territory. The anti-European Union United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) got lots of votes but only one seat, while the extreme-left Green Party got quite a lot of votes but similarly only one seat. Pre-election opinion polls had predicted it was going to be very close with either a narrow Labour win or no party in overall control and some sort of coalition again. The previous government had been a Conservative / Liberal Democrat coalition.

Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the opinions of various people who, believe it or not, were entitled to vote.


Petition (on change.org) to get “The queen to kick the torys out of downing st”
The GOVERMENT  are KILLING PEOPLE in BRITAIN !
DISABLED , YOUNG , VUNERBLE,  WORKING CLASS PEOPLE !
ALSO are CHILDREN ! GOING HUNGERY thanks to this TORY GOVERMENT !
TEACHERS ARE BRINGING IN FOOD FOR. KIDS In SCHOOLS are PARENTS can't AFFORD TO FEED THEM
ALL  the UNDER 25 Will Be HOMELESS SOON, AND HELP WITH HOUSING WILL BE GONE !
BEFORE THEY GET CHANCE TO LOOK FOR A JOB!
WHO HIRES HOMELESS PEOPLE! ,
WE THE BRITISH PEOPLE VOTED FOR THAT!
I DONT THINK SO , WE  NEED ANOTHER FARE VOTING SYSTEM THAT COUNTS ALL. THE VOTES TOGETHER , NOT JUST FOR A. FEW SELECTED AREAS , ALL PEOPLES VOTES SHOULD. BE COUNTED!
AND THE WINNER SHOULD BE THE ONE WITH  ALL THE  HIGHEST VOTES!
THE. QUEEN AS LOVERLY AND WELL REPERSENTING HER COUNTRY HAS THE. POWER TO CHANGE THIS !
SHES NEEDS TO LISTEN TO HER PEOPLE AND RESPOND TO HER PEOPLE ! ALL OF HER PEOPLE. FROM THE POOREST. TO THE  RICHEST !
PLEASE SIGN


The torys are about to destroy this country and everybody in it , suicide count will be at its highest these next few years as people struggle to survive , the disabled struggle to live , and the elderly who have been in this country since thatcher will loose the will! Get the torys out !!


IS it a democracy though? REALLY - with over 290,000 Voters in Wolverhampton, and 27,000 Voters in Witney (Lord Snooty's constituency) is it fair we both get to Vote in 1 MP when wolverhampton has ten times as many Voters . . . . .


Everything I have seen in the press suggests that everyone hates Cameron and the Conservatives.
In reply to this:
(a) People hate Ed Miliband more, (b) people still blame Labour for Iraq (true) and the debt/deficit (no no no no FFS shut up graagh!), (c) fear of Scots?


Everyone inside my filter bubble hates Cameron/Conservatives.


“the Labservative parties”


How left-wing should we be? As left-wing as we need to be to make no-one enslaved by poverty. (LibDem supporter.)


But, what were all those Tory voters voting for?


I saw that ghastly moron John Reid on the news last night saying the same things. That Labour had been way too socialist, and paid the price.
I wonder what exactly these socialist policies he thinks Ed ran with were? (Labour supporter. John Reid was a minister in the last Labour government.)


It's very difficult to know how to proceed in the post-internet world where people will now quite cheerfully embrace absolute falsehoods about important issues.
I wonder if perhaps Labour should have not apologised for it,a nd instead every time t hey were asked, simply said look, it was not Labour policy to sell sub-prime mortgages in the USA,a nd by the way, Gordon Browns plan saved the worlds economic system.


My inclination is that the election was lost back in 2010 when nobody from the Labour party stood up and said, loudly enough, "no, you idiots, the Labour party didn't crash the economy, it was the banksters!" because they were having a leadership election at the time.


It wouldn't just be suicide, it might be complicity in more homicide. Current Tory polciy is killing people through austerity measures, and harsh, unfair, xenophobic immigration rules.


Depends on the SNP. Who want more immigration (at least into Scotland) and less austerity. A confidence and supply arrangement would let them hold a gun to Labour's head, and hopefully allow Labour to play "sorry, it's them, they're the anti-austerity guys" for long enough to abolish non-dom status and bring in the Leveson press commission, thereby shafting the nine evil billionaires who're behind much of the toxic media climate supporting austerity and racism.


“I'm a queer disabled unemployed immigrant woman…”


Could the result of the election on Thursday be rigged.


how to live in a rump UK with no EU, no human rights and a permanent Tory majority, being governed by wankers for the benefit of bankers. But such is apparently the earnest wish of many.


wished those "shy Tory bostards" had been too shy to leave the house on Thursday.


Tories think we're upset because we 'lost', like it's fucking Ludo. No, we're upset because the most vulnerable people will suffer terribly.


The tories will pass lots of laws that are broadly disliked on the mistaken belief they have a mandate from the electorate to enact tory policy - they don't, they have a mandate to pass moderate, centrist policies, not right wing policies (such as increased state surveillance).


I can’t write today. Too angry, too sad, too worried.


We'd better all get used to the government watching us all the time.


A Tory government is not something to wish on one's friends.


never underestimate the rampant xenophobia of the UK


I'll hope I don't get seriously ill for ten years


I've no problem with Scottish voters voting SNP - more baffled by the number of English who voted Tory. And depressed at having Cameron's overprivileged buffoons in power STILL.


Do voters in England really want 5 years of being ruled exclusively by the Eton Billionaires club? The dismantling of the Welfare state? The end of the NHS? Hostility towards Immigrants? Leaving the EU? Apparently yes.


And my god the Tories knifed them in the back, so many LD seats turned Tory last night.


Because the Blairites will look at this and say 'WE LOST BECAUSE WE WEREN'T FAR ENOUGH TO THE RIGHT! ITS EDS FAULT FOR BEING RED!' So they will probably lurch further to the right.


The shackles are off and the next 5 years are going to be pretty brutal for anybody who isn't very wealthy.


Genuinely scared for all the children that will be growing up in this. And future children (worried about raising my own kids now).


Yeah, the more I think about it the more sinister it looks that all the polls and papers were reporting it being neck and neck. A lot of labour voters who shifted to UKIP might well have stuck with Labour if they thought they were going to get a Tory government. And... yeah, I can see a lot of people voting differently had the polls been accurate.
It is starting to smell a little bit of a stitch-up, isn't it? Not a huge stitch up, but a definite manipulation.


So, despite doing a postal vote, the same despicable crowd are still in government. A few more years having to put up with their shenanigans. The poor, the weak, the defenseless and the vulnerable will be even worse off.


Yeah, UKIP is explicitly racist, xenophobic, and anti-immigration -- that's basically their platform.


Kind of a cross between American Republicans, Libertarians, and the KKK.


The conservatives are more like the republicans. They have actually bought into austerity, but with added tax hikes mostly on the poor


I dunno, I turn my back for a moment* and my whole damn country goes insane. Apparently they want another five years of government to, for, by, with and from a pack of mendacious self-serving millionaires.


A Tory/DUP government. Jesus. Well good luck if you're poor, bye bye welfare state and NHS.


I don't see how the centre-left SNP could be made more liberal by associating with the decidedly right wing "Labour" party we have these days.


UKIP are the only party offering an actual end to immigration


Sod the Greens, I've become convinced in recent years that the only solution to the climate change extinction crisis we all imminently face is socialism.


HOW THE SCAM WORKED: Voters in Bournemouth were casting votes on the wrong ballot papers – or being told to ‘come back later’. All nine polling stations in Kinson North and Kinson South were affected by a printing error on books of ballot papers. Meanwhile, in Hastings, 200,000 ballot papers were stolen – divided up, these would have been enough to swing at least 30 marginal seats. Hundreds of postal ballot papers were sent out without the names of the Green and Labour Party candidates in the Hull East constituency. The provision of pencils in polling booths is a requirement of section 206 of the Electoral Act. There is, however nothing to prevent an elector from marking his or her ballot paper with a pen – but voters were never told this – so everyone used the pencils – and that made it easier to ‘adjust’ the vote. Then two ballot boxes were misplaced by election staff from an Eastwood Hilltop ballot station, as candidates noticed the total number of votes in Labour Leader Milan Radulovic’s battleground was over ‘2,000 crosses too low’. And then Darlington Borough Council faced calls for a re-count after UKIP’s David Hodgson’s name was left off ballot papers. Funny how all these ‘blunders’ never disadvantaged the queen’s cousin, Mr David Cameron. A full investigation is being made into a documentary for THE ENIGMA CHANNEL – check out the TV shows here – they are banned from the mainstream!


It's scary what these next 5 years are gonna be like and I for 1 don't agree with the Tories it wrong we was born and bread in England


The time for change is well overdue and the election was a fix


I think the Queen should call a general election before too many die of illnesses not treated and malnutrition because of EVIL TORIES !!!!!


I think it's a disgrace! No1 wanted this government back in because of how miserable they made people.


I think the tories are wrong I would like the queen to get them out so we can have a nother erection


David Cameron will destroy England. He's pretty much the Karl Oyston of politics. A cunt who needs to be killed, along with he's family and friends.


I believe it was s big fix people Pencil voting not pen so votes can be changed we need change in this country and fast


I hate David Cameron and he left us all in Debt


Last time I voted I used black pen now this time when I voted it was pencil?? Why this ain't right at all. We need a better voting system like it all done by computers or somethink because how do we know that the people who count all the votes are doing it right an how can we trust them.


As I have a child and I'm a diabetic and can't afford to lose the NHS and benefits


The government have blood on their hands and I think they should all be charged with Murder and theft


The Tories have not been clear the entire election on what their plans were for this next term. Now we are being swamped by sudden, higher then expected cuts, the return of fox hunting, ludicris and extreme chhanges to how the disabled will be treated and a plan to ban on all Human Rights in the UK... once again culling the poor, elderly, disabled and "lower class" of society to hoist their enterprise above their own selfish expectations...


Becuse britan is in a stat of confussment and no of the gooverment listen to its peaple or care about them thay want to cut public founding in places and makes this country and its peaple more vunrble. But if i was a drug or alcohaladic i would b given full benafit and scocil houseing . But becuse i work i have to struggle with no help or suport from a failing country. I dont feel safe in my city with the crime drugs and overwelming and fast growing amont of imergrents im not a racist person on look down on other for hard back grounds but when all ower resoser r being use and the britsh tax payers r the ones that suffer while all the peaple im highter power r moneing bout the wrong tipe of champain at there partys peaple like me and othets are worrying about how we r going to pay ower rents feed ower selfs and try and make something better for ower children witch is being made possible bye a gooverment and a country that no longer cares


I think its a sham voting in pencil


There disgusting due to the fact of getting rid of human rights and our NHS ... The NHS saves millions of people and not everybody has hundreds of thousands like mp's to get help or afford things
i have two disabled children and if the nhs gets stopped we are buggered let alone we struggling already due to david camrons changes :(


I think the votes were rigged and I'm worried about our country


It's a con I belive that there should be a recount as I think that to many mistakes were made while the counting was taken place


it is not fair for those who are poor i am 16 and i know just about everything that is going on with our contry


We should stop immigration till child poverty has been eradicated. Tory scum


It’s all very well for me to sit in my cosy leftie bubble with my baja-sporting friends, spending our free time attending vegan popup barbecues and meeting in art centres to have a bit of a moan about Ukip; we missed the changing climate of British politics. We dismissed the growing support for the right wing as just a few comedy racists, underestimated the momentum they were gaining, and thought that by retweeting the latest Owen Jones article, we were doing our bit. (B-list celebrity)


Yeah, because for the first five years Gideon only managed to double the deficit


Time is running out. But in recognising the gravity of the situation, Russell Brand has done his bit to stave off disaster and defend the struggles for justice that now beckon.

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